My review of the film, formatted as a numbered list of facts about this film.
1. This is a bad movie. Like really bad. Like holy fucking shit, this film is almost unwatchable. Just staggeringly awful.
2. It was written and directed by Kim Henkel, who co-wrote the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is actually a really good film, so I think it’s fair to say that his contributions to the original were few and far between.
3. This film features Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey. And no, I’m not making that up.
4. Renee Zellweger is out of her depth through 99% of this movie. She’s not a scream queen, she’s more of a politely-express-her-discomfort queen. She’s almost acting in an entirely different film, where her and her friends lives aren’t at stack, and she is instead reacting to a mildly inconvenient sorority hazing.
5. Matthew McConaughey is pretty good in this. If the director had any idea what he was doing, this movie might be the first example of how Matthew can be more than just a sexy bod.
6. The director has no idea what he is doing.
7. For reasons I can not even begin to fathom, this film decides to add a subplot where the TCM family is connected to the Illuminati, making this the Halloween 6 of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise — not just because it’s the worst of the series, but because it adds a fucking stupid conspiracy for no good goddamn reason.
8. By my count, exactly ZERO people died as a result of a chainsaw, making this the least massacre-ey of the series.
9. Leatherface is called by the nickname “Leather” in this film for some reason.
10. Leatherface is also at his sexiest in this film.Make of that what you will.