1. Dammit, I’m gonna get caught up on Chock’Lit is supposed to mean again, aren’t I?
2. MAKING TOAST IS HARD.
3. Make sure you turn off the stove before leaving, Arch.
4. Hyram Loge is looking a LOT different than his comic book counterpart.
5. Jughead, go eat yourself into a food coma, you can save Pop’s that way!
6. “Jug, you went crazy trying to save the drive in.” Yeah, AND HE FAILED, so maybe he’s not the best the choice to lead this one up.
7. “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN” poster features a man wearing a mask. As if he walks around town looking like that ALL THE TIME. Which, I mean, maybe he does.
8. Archie, I feel like sleep depravation plus paranoia plus a baseball bat might be a bad combination.
9. See, Archie? Now you’re hallucinating. Not cool, man.
10. So why does Betty tipping off Veronica about Archie’s room not start a conversation about why Betty is regularly snooping on Archikins?
11. Why would you take a school counsellor over a therapist?
12. Jeez, Miss Mayor, what does Pop’s place have to do with the shooting that happened there.
13. Jingle Jangle?
14. So Reggie’s like a drug dealer now?
15. Also, again, what the hell is Jingle Jangle?
16. “He may lose his dad.” God forbid he lose his Chock’Lit shop too.
17. Hey, Hyram, you could help Pop’s — just buy, like, 10,000 milkshakes.
18. Oh great, now Jughead is planning a prison break for his dad.
19. So Cheryl came back from the brink of death to be an bigger bitch?
20. Oh yes, Archie was a “student” of Miss Grundy.
21. Now I assume this is meant to make us think that someone is targeting people Archie is close to.
22. And the fact that they’re talking about in the show itself, this early on in the season, makes me pretty confident that’s not what’s going on.
23. So Archie is just going to take his killer theory to anyone who’ll listen?
24. ANOTHER ANONYMOUS BUYER!? HOW CAN THIS BE?!
25. Also, if Hyram was buying Pop’s, wouldn’t that be a GOOD thing?
26. Yeah, the Lodge family is kind of messed up. I’ll give Ronnie that.
27. Yeah, haha, the change of getting mercy from the Blossom family seems pretty unlikely.
28. Jeez, Reggie, dressing up as the guy who attacked and shot Archie’s dad is hardly a “prank”. You asshole.
29. OH, I forgot the Cello bow came from Archie himself.
30. Wow, Betty. You frosty.
31. “You have my word,” coming from a blackmailer, doesn’t seem worth all that much.
32. JUGHEAD IS EATING AGAIN! FOR NO REASON!
33. Seriously, though, Ronnie, I think your dad is kinda creepy. Your mom certainly is.
34. Has anyone actually told you that you’re going crazy, Archie? I don’t think so.
35. I’m confused by the FP case. He’s been offered a deal, which means he hasn’t gone to trial yet. He also hasn’t taken the deal. So why would they have to revisit anything before “sentencing”. That doesn’t happen until after the trial.
36. DO IT FOR THE CHEESE FRIES, JOSIE!
37. Of couse it’s Milkshake.
38. Or whatever it’s called. Is that what that song is called?
39. Archie’s getting some PTSD triggers here at Pop’s. Maybe not a great place for him to be hanging out. Especially hopped up on Jingle Jangles.
40. Which he may not be, I guess. We didn’t seem him actually get the drugs, did we?
41. Don’t charitable contributions have to go to charity?
42. CHERYL DID A NICE THING. YAY!
43. And then Pop dies of a heart attack. #darkriverdale
44. Wait, so Hyram did buy Pop’s? YOU SCHEMING, LYING, SONS OF BITCHES!
45. No, Betty, it’s actually not a win. You don’t know it yet, but it’s not.
46. Who was Archie giving the evil eye to? Was that Dilton?
47. I DON’T THINK THAT’S A TRUE STORY ABOUT SMITHERS.
48. ON NO PENNY PEABODY IS BAD BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE IS.
49. Jeez, Mrs. Cooper, maybe a bit more passive in the passive aggressive.
50. And of course Dilton is an arms dealer. Who else would be?
51. Wait, was that Jingle Jangle?
52. Also, what living nightmare is Archie going to wake up to? MUST WE WAIT ANOTHER WEEK?
53. Wow, that last scene was very Zodiac Killer. Do we know the couple that got gunned down?