Brain Dump: Riverdale ‘Death Proof’

So that was a pretty staggering finale last episode. I really didn’t expect Betty to succumb to the pressure of picking the name. But when she did, it all clicked.

Is it bad that I hope Douchypants gets offed?

Let’s do this.

1. I guess being in a gang hasn’t diminished Jughead’s esire to write.

2. Haha, look, they still remember that Jughead likes to eat.

3. Why the hell did Betty go to Douchebag’s hotel room?

4. SHE WENT TO WARN HIM?

5. “Should I ask what you’re doing here?” Yes, sherriff, you probably should.

6. “The real work can begin.” That’ll be interesting.

7. Cheryl’s mom has made an extraordinary recovery from her third degree burns.

8. Wow, this Jingle Jangle town meeting in the Cooper’s house is really kind of awkward.

9. So are they just arresting the Serpents regardless of whether they committed a crime?

10. I kind of hope they do something a bit more with Cheryl’s almost date rape story.

11. On the one hand, I would theoretically support the murder of a drug dealer to save a bunch of other more innocent people. On the other hand, it’s hard to find any reason to trust the Black Hood.

12. Juggie and Archie going to FP for advice is pretty goddamn smart.

13. Oh god, of course it’ll end up coming down to a street race.

14. Oh hahahahaha, this moment when Betty and Veronica and up getting dragged into the drug den with Archie and Jughead.

15. It doesn’t seem ilke the rest of the serpents are too concerned about what Jughead’s doing.

16. The thing about Cheryl is that even though she’s a pretty terrible person for the most part, a lot of really terrible things happen to her as well.

17. How much is that cheque for that Cheryl’s mom has?

18. Has Betty always been a mechanic girl or is this the first time we’ve seen that?

19. And now Cheryl’s back to being Cheryl. I don’t know if she’s just completely insane, or if the writers just have no idea what they want to do with her character.

20. I don’t see Jughead shifting at all, in spite of Betty’s advice.

21. Jesus, Archie, why would you get into the car if you weren’t willing to see the race through?

22. Oh shit, now Archie is the one who called the cops? Dude, you are making a mess of things here.

23. Well, obiously mommy throws the cheque in the fire.

24. Do we find out who the Sugarman is now?

25. And of course the Sugarman’s identity gets revealed in the goddamn school newspaper because I don’t even know any more.

26. Oh Betty, I respect that you’re feeling emboldened right now, but I don’t know if threatening Black Hood is that great an idea.

27. HAHAHAHA, that was the Sugarman? That’s hilarious.

28. Oh great, is Fred Andrews going to get addicted to painkillers now?

29. Wait, so the black hood got in to kill Sugarman? How the hell did he pull that off?

30. Aaaaaaaand unrelated to Riverdale, but I’m just watching the trailer to Dynasty, and this looks deliciously tashy too.

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