I haven’t brain dumped a show for awhile (not since the close of the most recent season of Mr. Robot, if memory serves me correctly) but breaking it out for Legion — a show that is always so full of marvelous WTF moments — seems like the obvious choice. So here’s the dump for the premier episode of the second season.
1. Okay, so it looks like we’re someplace kind of tropical maybe? I bet this is Lennie and SK.
2. Or, sorry, Oliver. Not SK.
3. Or, I guess Lennie is actually SK.
4. This is so confusing.
5. Oliver’s thigh tan lines are weirdly distracting.
6. It’s great having imaginary waiters in your imaginary swimming pool.
7. Wait, the Shadow King has a body now?
8. Oh, wait, no, that just another layer of whatever that was.
9. Well thanks for that insight into madness, Don Draper.
10. HOLY CRAP those chattery teeth people are terrifying.
11. So Syd is a cat now.
12. This premier is sure starting off in a big ol’ pool of WTF is going on here.
13. OH I GET IT. She swapped with the kitty. That makes sense.
14. What a great character introduction though.
15. “Just like the others.” Well that’s ominous.
16. Oh, did he mean the others who were chattering?
17. Uh, who’s the baskethead person?
18. I guess taking off your suit’s helmet was unwise.
19. OH RIGHT, I forgot what his power was. Wow, it’s been awhile.
20. “Do you have any waffles?” Great question.
21. And then there were waffles.
22. Great, now I want waffles.
23. I see David has the same question about baskethead.
24. So this merging of Summerland with Division 3 is going to end up being not a great idea at some point I’m betting.
25. WHY DOES HE HAVE A BASKET ON HIS HEAD?
26. I think it’s pretty great that I currently know as much about what’s going on as David does.
27. “I like cherry pie now.” Lots of food references here. Also, cherry pie is good.
28. Syd seems to be having a hard time with David’s return.
29. Or maybe not. Things seem better now.
30. It must be nice to be able to create your own virtual mental fuck palace.
31. Oh god, it’s the chattery teeth again.
32. So that means Oliver — and SK — were with David before he was found.
33. I goddamn love the set designs in this show.
34. Melanie seems bitter about Oliver being gone.
35. I think maybe “vacant lot” would be the saddest because it speaks of failed potential.
36. Things are never the same, Melanie, because things are always never the same.
37. So what’s Melanie smoking here? Because that’s a pretty great … I dunno, bong? Hookah? I’m not even sure what it is.
38. Who is wheeling about in Melanie’s room? What the hell is going on?
39. Also, did I miss a chapter? I thought this sharted at Chapter two.
40. Ah yes, the butterfly story.
41. Holy shit that “bad egg” bird was terrifying.
42. Also, is this Albert A story for reals? Doesn’t matter, just curious.
43. So who’s delusions are we talking about? Who’s mad and who’s sane? What’s your point, Don Draper?
44. I can totally understand Clark’s concerns here, but even if David has actually been gone for a year, that doesn’t mean he’s lying.
45. But maybe he is.
46. Wait, all of these people are one person? Admiral … Fukuyama?
47. Sorry Admiral, but your explanations aren’t helping much.
48. This Admiral Fukuyama is some serious creepyccino.
49. David’s on my page in regards to small spaces!
50. “…from inside a daquiri.” More edibles!
51. That’s too enclosed.
52. Also, they could have added some bubbles to make it more like a jacuzzi. Who wouldn’t like that?
53. I love how analog all of this tech is.
54. David’s hair all poofed out in the water looks like a visual reference to the look of the character in the comics.
55. Is the club actually called Club? Or is that just a creation of David’s memory?
56. Who’s the bald guy at the club? He seems important.
57. Of course there’s a dance number.
58. Wait, is this a dance off between David and the Shadow King? Maybe that’s the only way to defeat him!
59. Wait, Cary’s dancing now?
60. Gotta say, he’s got soe moves.
61. STOP WITH THE TEETH OMG.
62. Should we be wondering why Syd keeps going to the chattering room?
63. Did David teleport out of the jacuzzi?
64. HE IS KEEPING SECRETS, SYD!
65. I wonder why he doesn’t want to talk about the dance off.
66. The compass is zeroed in on him? That’s pretty cool. Also pretty creepy.
67. Also it’s clearly going to be vital at some point in the season.
68. DON’T LIE ABOUT THE SECRETS DAVID!
69. Oh goddamn that creepy bird is going to be an ongoing thing, isn’t it?
70. Wait, Syd was in the metal ball?
71. Oh, they get to play pictionary.
72. Hourglass, David.
73. He is pretty good.
74. Help him find his body? That seems counter-productive.
75. Well, I guess that explains why he’s lying to everyone.
76. So what actually happened at the club that he doesn’t want to talk about?
77. Is the bald guy supposed to be Farouk’s body?
78. This is a ridiculously trippy cover of White Rabbit.
79. STOP BEING CREEPY DAVID. OMG. Also, what? Is he all hooked up with the Shadow King again? NOOOOOOO!